The theme of my life in most parts has been wanting to be and do one thing but trying to balance it with what I felt I should be doing.
I wanted to study history and work in research, but I thought, “how will I ever have a successful career?” so I opted for something that still allowed me to use my creative right brain, and yet wasn’t as mainstream as engineering - architecture.
Even as I trained to be an architect, I yearned to write about design, so I began freelancing as a design writer in 2015, but never pursued it as a full-time career thinking “how can writing be a career?”
And then when it was time to choose a master’s degree, I consciously tried to choose a program that was well within the domain of design—how could I choose anything else since I’d spent the last five years studying architecture? But I found a middle path—I chose a program that had an intense research and writing component so I could stay close to what I felt drawn to most.
And even as I interned as an editorial assistant during my master’s in design program (see the irony?) and volunteered as a researcher right after, I opted for a full-time job in a multi-national corporate after graduating. My reason—I need to pay my student loan.
And even within the corporate roles, I tried to stay within the research and writing domain, because that is all I felt comfortable doing. Still, you can imagine that opportunities were not that many in a place where brevity and critical thinking are preferred over immersive storytelling. So I did what I liked doing with guilt and a sense of incompetence—I need to work harder on strategic thinking than on writing research reports and marketing documents!
And here I am in 2022, writing a novel, volunteering as a researcher and writer at the West End Museum, and volunteering as a web copywriter for the Wiwitan foundation.
It has taken me pretty much from leaving school in 2005 to now, in 2022 to accept and commit to my innate need to write finally.
I have always wanted to do something with words, and yet, because of self-imposed “should” and should nots” I never allowed myself to be a full-time writer. And yet, that is precisely what I’m doing today.
The reason I’m sharing this is that we all know what is it that gives us the most joy, and yet so many of us find it difficult to give ourselves permission to walk the off-beaten path.
The thing is, we need commitment and bravery to walk our unique path—a commitment to something that may not give us immediate gratification in terms of money, a commitment to continuing on our path even when those closest to us may not get what we do, and a commitment to allowing ourselves to feel lost when we have no one to look up to because our path is so unique.
In my case, I lacked this commitment until now. I wanted the safety of a conventional path only to realise that given how bright my own unique path burned in me, any other path felt positively difficult to tread.
But I have to admit, in 2020, when I finally went full-time as a writer, it is not willingly that I did that, but actually quite reluctantly.
I didn’t have an option but to write.
Thank you, universe for that!! I would not have it any other way.
Do I worry about how writing can turn into a lucrative career?
Yes!
But I’ve also realsied that this is all I know and this is all I wish to get better at.
I was writing at my favorite spot in the city, the Boston Public Library, on Wednesday when I was overcome with such a wave of passion and inspiration that my husband remarked that I was glowing.
I rode that wave for the entire day and I truly felt invincible.
Nothing has given me that kind of a high.
And so my dear reader, I ask you - what is it that gives you so much joy that nothing else matters in the world? What is your unique path? What are you willing to commit your heart and soul to?
If you know the answer, please don’t feel pressured to turn it into your full-time career. In my case, I think the universe ambushed me and put me in a place where there was nothing else left for me to do (and, I’m glad it did.) But perhaps in your case, being balanced is what drives you, and that is fine, as long as you acknowledge the flame burning within you with conscious attention and time.
There will be challenges on your path—blog writing may be easier, but writing novels and web copywriting with Search Engine Optimisation strategies? Those are definitely massive learning curves!—but one of your commitments is to learn from those challenges just so that you can continue doing what gives you joy.
And for those of us who don’t have that one thing that gives us joy, perhaps we are not meant to do one thing. We are meant to experiment, and allow ourselves to be drawn to different things till we find that sweet spot.
The point of all of this is simple - allow the wave that is yearning to flow through you, to take you where it needs to take you. It doesn’t matter which shore you land on, but your biggest reward is the experience of riding that wave.
Not just in your career, but in all aspects of life.
Some might ask - should we never plan anything?
I would venture and say no, don’t plan, but set intentions—the intention to feel content and joyous doing whatever it is that we do, the intention to have a fulfilled life, the intention to be surrounded by loved ones, and the intention to always have all that we need. The waves that flow through us will reveal the path, i.e. the step-by-step plan.
We just need to allow.
Love and light,
Vishanka
Xx